Thursday, December 4, 2008

World Mentors Day - Mentoring The Kids Day: Mentor the teens and their parents

"World Mentors Day" (Mentoring the kids day) coined by Ramen Gajendran in Santa Rosa - San Francisco North Bay Area, California. Ramen tells every bloggers cum mentors to  recognize this day on the Fourth Thursday of November to strengthen the bond and rapport of love and affection between the mentors and their kids through web chatting or personal meeting for a harmonious social life. This will change the kid's future with positive thoughts in this world.

Mentoring Teens

Teens are the foundation of any country. We need to mentor them and their parents toward well-being in the community where they live. The competition is high among the job seekers in this global economy. Our challenges are new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task. This is the price and the promise of citizenship. This is the source of our confidence. So we need to educate or prepare our teens for success in their life and to keep this planet green and safe. Based on my knowledge of mentoring teens in the community, I would like to address the real challenges that teens face in this information age so mentors or youth advocates can focus on this area. Some teens feel that they don’t have love and acceptance from their family and the community. Some teens feel that they have lots of distractions due to the media, entertainment, eating habits and lack of sleep. They lack time management skills. Teens and parents admit that these are the kinds of issue that teens face. But they don't know how to resolve it. The parents, teachers, community activists, mentors and youth advocates need help from the community. One person cannot fix everything. That is why I brought this up for the good health of our country. Some teens feel that they don’t have responsible adults to guide them. They believe in their friends more than anyone else because their friends do care and accept their views. Some teens end up with friends who prosper; some teens end up with friends who are engaged in gang related activities. These teens get depressed in their personal lives. But they have good hearts; I feel sorry for them because they don’t have proper guidance and direction. So professionals, especially teachers and parents, in the local community need to take the initiative to mentor them. Please act. Make a change and get involved. Don't say, “I don't have time.” Make time. You will be proud doing this volunteer job in your community.

Teen Depression is not a weakness but a serious illness with biological, psychological, and social aspects to its cause, symptoms, and treatment.

Symptoms of major depression or manic depression

Persistently sad, anxious, angry, irritable, or "empty" mood. Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex, Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or over sleeping, Decreased appetite and/or weight loss, or overeating and/or weight gain, fatigue, decreased energy, being "slowed down", crying spells, thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts, restlessness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions, persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and/or chronic pain.

Canadian novelist Douglas Coupland first coined "Generation X" to describe his own generation, which has been shaped by the following American family trends: They were born during one of the most blatantly anti-child phases in history. They were born into an era where their parents had the highest divorce rate in our history, the highest abortion rate, the highest dual income, and the most permissive parenting habits.
They were viewed as intrusive obstacles to their parents' self-exploration. There was terror on their streets. They were the most unsupervised generation in our history.

(Gen X-ers)
Born during the period 1961 - 1981
They are reactive

(Gen Y-ers)
Born after 1982
They are civic

Over the course of their lives, the career trends of Gen X-ers show that they will have 10 to 12 jobs during their lives, spend an average of three years in each job, and have three to four different careers. X-ers created 70 percent of the start-up companies in the 90s.

When Gen X-ers leave a job, it is for one or more of the following reasons: limited career growth, lack of promotion, lack of regular feedback on work performance, low pay, poor treatment from managers, lack of recognition, and stress— especially stress caused by understaffing.

In the workplace, Gen X-ers demonstrate the following differences and attributes compared with previous generations:

More collaborative and independent
Less hierarchical
More altruistic
Good at dealing with change
More comfortable with women bosses
More skilled in management
More tech-savvy (the first real information-age generation)
Financially savvy
Candid in communication
Not intimidated by authority
Strive for real balance between work and private life
Desire workplaces that feel like communities.

Managers have these common complaints about Gen-Xers and Y-ers:

They ask why.
They are unwilling to "pay their dues."
They are unwilling to "go the extra mile."
They are cynical and have a dim view of the world.
They are not committed.
They don't respect authority.
They are far more interested in things other than their jobs.
They want things now.

The following factors and characteristics would create the worst work environment for X-ers and Y-ers (and perhaps for many others):

Fear-based environment
Poor time management
Politically based culture
Indirect communication
Opinions and ideas ignored
Prevalence of lip service, not action
Failure to give feedback and regular performance reviews
Meaningless raises
Insincere, gratuitous "thank you's"
People thrown into jobs without training
Disorganized, cluttered, or dirty workplace
Not telling the "why's"
"Because I said so" or similar attitudes
Unacceptable staff behavior overlooked

Conversely, the best environment for X-ers and Y-ers would offer the following:

Team-based management
The idea is the power, not the person
Team and individual credit
"Resume building" opportunities.

X-ers' and Y-ers’ requests are typically along these lines:

Appreciate us. Show you care.
Be flexible. Let us have a life beyond work.
Create a team. Give us the family we never had.
Develop us. Help us to increase our skills.
Involve us. Ask our opinions.
Lighten up. Remember, it's not brain surgery.
Walk your talk. Practice what you preach.

If X-ers and Y-ers have a common communication credo, it would be:

We believe in mutual respect, open communication, and the willingness to listen to each other.
We support the principle that we can respectfully disagree and still meet our goals.
We are willing to take responsibility for the quality and depth of our communication.
We do not assume to know the intentions behind each other's words or actions until we ask.
We avoid using blame to deflect our responsibility for direct communication.
When we have a disagreement with another team member, we will go immediately to that person to clear the air. When we communicate, we will focus on issues, situations, and tasks, not on persons; observable behaviors and events; the here and the now; and specifics rather than generalities.

If we cannot resolve a conflict ourselves, we will schedule time to meet with our manager or another appropriate third party to help us work through our issues.
We are willing to forgive one another when our imperfect communication results in misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
We will hold one another accountable for the above principles and guidelines.

To better understand working with people of Generation X and Y, explore these metrics and their implications in our evolving workplace:


Please keep in mind, all of these above logics will serve to remind you to act socially on teens behavior through guidance. I believe your actions will definitely work to improve the teen’s behavior and change their attitudes.

Midlife Crisis

Midlife crisis is a term used in the Western societies to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" of life, as a result of sensing the passing of youth and the imminence of old age. During this information age, the midlife crisis is an endemic one among all the societies. A midlife crisis could be caused by aging itself, or aging in combination with changes, problems, or regrets. Researchers have found that midlife is often a time for reflection and reassessment.

Parents should know the logics of raising a child

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
 he learns to find love.

Praise is good, but don’t overdo it. A child does need encouragement and praise but, like most things, this can be overdone. Give praise when it is due, but don’t shower praise on shoddy work and half-baked efforts. Your child is no fool, and knows perfectly well that it could have done much better, and so loses respect if you are too easily satisfied. It is much more helpful to examine the work carefully (whether picture, homework, sandcastle, or anything else) praise the good parts then give constructive hints on how it could be improved. In that way, the child will appreciate that you have shown genuine interest, while, at the same time, being encouraged to do better. One needs to build the child’s self-confidence, but giving praise where it is not due can produce the opposite result. The child can become addicted to praise and, when it is not forthcoming, a feeling of insurmountable inadequacy often takes over.

Our aim should always be to prepare our children for life. This means giving them ideals, self-confidence, values, consideration for others, and the courage to face difficulties. But this also implies that you, yourselves, must practice these virtues. Sathya Sai Baba: “People want happiness in the family, but they fail to lead exemplary lives”.

Finally, you leave the kids like Penguins after mentoring!

Lessons to leave with the kids

Always have fun. You ask them to dream big. Give yourself permission to dream. Once in a while, that might even mean letting them stay up past their bedtimes. Ask for what you want. You encourage students to attempt hard things and not worry about failings. Appreciate the glorious failure. Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted. And it can be the most valuable thing you have to offer. Look for the best in everybody; if you wait long enough, people will surprise and impress you. When you are frustrated with people, when you are angry, it may be because you have not given them enough time. People will show you their good side. Just keep waiting. It will come out. Make time for what matters. Let kids be themselves. People ask about the dreams you have for your own kids. Don’t be vocal about the dreams. Your job is to help the kids foster a joy for their life and develop the tools to fulfill their own wishes. Be clear. “Kids, don’t try to figure out what I wanted you to become. I want you to become what you want to become. And I want you to feel as if I am there with you, whatever path you choose. “

Knowledge is the power of wealth which will bring you happiness along the way. Share the knowledge for a good cause. It is a way to achieve immortality and path to virtue.

About the Author: Ramen has been challenged his life in a multi-cultural environment with societal pressures, opposing forces, political minds, family issues, and world pressures.  He learned how to live and he realized that how hard it is to raise a child with balance in this world. He developed his own logic to raise the children with a balanced life in this challenging environment. Ramen believes that knowledge is the power which will bring you happiness. Ramen shares his knowledge to achieve immortality and the path to well-being life.

Ramen, Gajendran, M.V.Sc., M.S.
Well-being Mentor
Founder of Athma-Pure

For mentoring and tutoring your kids, please click these links below to get a homework help. Teens and their parents can use these trusted sites to guide your kids.


Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot for a bunch of good tips. I look forward to reading more on the topic in the future. Keep up the good work! This blog is going to be great resource. Love reading it.
write term paper

Hans @ Turning Winds said...

Very well said. I couldn't agree with you more on this issue. How our kids and teens behave and who they become reflects the kind of parents and society that we have right now.
It's with the parents and the adults guiding them who should be responsible in molding the future people of this world.
Giving them the support, love and help that they needed to become children with values is not just the effort of one but of everyone who wants to make this world a better place to live in.